Family Values

Filipinos never forget the responsibility they have to their family. Unlike many Americans, Filipinos view caring for their parents and siblings as their primary responsibility when they reach any level of financial independence. I spoke with my counterpart Arianne about some of the differences between the Filipino and American philosophies on family values. Despite Arianne's desire to marry her boyfriend and move out of the house. At the age of 26 she is already helping financially to take care of her mother, father and unmarried sisters. This dedication to the family unit and an acknowledgement of respect for elders is an area where the United States is definitely lacking. At the same time Arianne believes that the Filipino will always be rich in family values but because "they are always paying backwards instead of forwards" they will never be rich in disposable income. Which prompts the question, what values do we neglect in pursuit of the American dream?

Arianne and I

At the the same time in the Philippines, where these family values appear to be so strong, it's incredible how we can witness poverty break down those values into complete senselessness. Extreme poverty forces people to make choices that many of us in the privileged world would never have to contemplate and when your priorities are focused on others rather than yourself, some may end up making choices that lead to a path of great personal sacrifice and destruction. We see this when women use prostitution as a means to feed their families, or even to send their younger siblings to school. 

This conversation with Arianne left me feeling ashamed. As an American I know I  take these privileges  for granted on a daily basis, rarely asking myself, what can I do to help my family? Of course the need may not be financial but have I been a loving daughter and sister? Too often we are only focused on our own narrow path. Now that I am living so far away from home I can really appreciate the sacrifices my family has made for me and how supportive they have been in everything I do. It's true I come from a country of great power and privilege but because my family taught me to follow my heart; I can make the choice to live my life with compassion and humility.  

Thanks Mom and Dad