Malipayong Pasko! Merry Christmas from the Philippines

It's Christmas Eve in the Philippines and I cannot help but feel homesick. I miss my family. I miss the cold air of a winter day in Washington. I miss the aroma of my mother's cooking and the sound of her Christmas carols on the piano. I miss the sight of my father building up a fire in our living room, while listening to one of his favorite jazz albums. I miss watching movies with my brother while we snack on Christmas cookies in our pajamas. I hold these memories so dear to me as I spend my first Christmas away from home. I guess this day was bound to come sometime. 

The good news is that here in Cebu I have many wonderful people around me to share the holidays with and I know that I am loved. I was able to attend a Christmas party at the Good Shepherd Recovery Center where the girls performed in a Nativity play. I was also able to exchange gifts with the staff and all the girls at the Good Shepherd Welcome House. Thanks to donations from the nurses of Everett Providence Pediatrics Unit we were able to give each girl a generous gift. I began the holidays with a trip to the beach with my host family and we will spend Christmas day together at the house, Sam another PCV close by will be joining us. 

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, cherish your loved ones.

Is it because I'm white or because I'm a woman?

Here in the Philippines I am more conscience of my race and sex than any previous time in my life. I have been living here for a few months now and although I knew things would be different, nothing in my social work education could have prepared me for this.

In the Philippines being white is considered gwapa or beautiful and there are endless skin whitening products available to further this cause. Complete strangers will approach me and tell me how beautiful I am, often seeming to be mesmerized by my blue eyes. I am also constantly stared at, which after a while leaves me feeling more objectified than flattered. The fact that I am in a big city doesn't help either. Unless I am at my agency with the people who work with me every day, I will always be regarded as a complete outsider by the rest of my community, which happens to be about 798,634 people.

My status as a single woman is also of great interest here. The other day a jeepney driver actually asked me at what age I plan to become a housewife, as if that was my inevitable fate. To be a woman who drinks beer, travels alone, and doesn't cook is concerning enough, but the fact that I am not dating anyone or actively seeking a husband is equally disturbing. No need to mention my lack of a religious background or my support for reproductive health care.

Although dealing with these trials and reconciling my identity on a daily basis grows tiresome, I would never trade the experience for anything, because it provides a platform for a conversation and a genuine exchange of cultural norms. It also gives me the opportunity to understand what battles are worth fighting for, decide who I really am, and figure out what I truly feel passionate about. And isn't that the whole point of joining the Peace Corps? 

What Am I Thankful For?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving so I thought I would spend some time writing about what I’m thankful for...

I am of course grateful to have the basic needs of shelter and food but until now I have never been so grateful to have a bed. It is commonplace here to see street children sleeping on the sidewalk, often only partially clothed. When I walk past them every day I am reminded of my good fortune but I am also reminded of how much work still needs to be done.

I am grateful for my social work education which has changed me in so many ways and really opened my heart as well as my mind to the injustice in the world. My education was empowering and gave me the insight I needed to inform my service and inspire my advocacy.

I’m also grateful for my idealism, because I have to believe we can do better and I have to dream that one day we will live in a world where human beings are not bought and sold, where women are not expendable and where education, basic health care and social service programs are widely accessible to those who desperately need them. I always remind students that they don’t have to accept the world as it is today and they have the power to change it.

I am grateful for my service, and the humility it brings. I may come home from work overwhelmed, exhausted and challenged but I am fulfilled knowing every day we furthered our cause and we made a difference.

Lastly I am grateful for my family, friends and mentors in my life who have supported me and encouraged me to stand up for my beliefs.I will miss sharing this day with you but I am grateful for your presence in my life, despite the distance between us.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."-Denis Waitley

Happy Thanksgiving!

2012 Presidential Election

 

Yesterday  I gathered with other Cebu Peace Corps Volunteers along with our country director at an election party sponsored by the US Embassy. We anxiously watched the CNN coverage of the election, cheering every time a state turned blue. We were surrounded by Filipino professionals and college students who had extensive knowledge of the United States political process. They were highly invested in this election, just like the millions of people all over the world who have an invested opinion about the future of the United States but have no voice in our democracy.

 Watching Obama’s acceptance speech got me very emotional. There is still a great deal of work to be done but with four more years I have high hopes for Obama to continue moving our country forward. Rest assured the world will be watching. 

Saying No: When America is Everywhere

I would like to preface this blog with a warning: Any PCV's at a rural site stop reading now, this blog will only upset and disappoint you.

Here in Cebu I have unlimited access to American food. We have McDonalds, KFC, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Krispy Kreme, TGIF Fridays, Sbarro, Seattle's Best Coffee, Dunkin Donuts and of course Jollibee the number one burger chain of the Philippines. We also have an unlimited selection of imported American junk food. We have Skippy Peanut Butter, Pringles, Cheetos, Pop-Tarts, Oreo's, Cheez-Its, Snickers etc. Most recently I discovered Philadelphia Creme Cheese! Now some of you back home may laugh, while some of you at other sites may cry, but I have to admit my latest challenge has been resisting the American temptations at every corner. 

Places like McDonalds where I would never step foot in back home have become my crutch in this country. I can easily overspend at the supermarket because I am stocking up on American junk food like the world is going to end. After about three weeks of this behavior I finally stopped and asked myself what is driving this insanity? My host family serves me nutritious meals. My allowance cannot support this habit long term. My current health goals do not include gaining 20 pounds. The only conclusion that I can come up with is despite the lack of substance and nutritional value in these foods they are one of the few unchanging variables that I can rely on. After a long day at work there is nothing more gratifying than the taste of something familiar. 

Looking forward I know that I cannot continue living like this. At the same time I recognize that self care sometimes calls for some self indulgence. With a renewed sense of urgency I will now attempt to limit my food coping to the weekends and find some healthy snacks that can sustain me during the work week. As far as the daily peanut butter goes... you'll have to pry it from my cold dead fingers. 

Teaching Conversational English

Today I had the great pleasure of teaching my first conversational English class. Here in the Philippines the ability to speak in English is a necessity if you want to market yourself for employment, especially for the women enrolled in our Job Readiness Program. When I recognized this need I offered to teach a conversational English class at the center once a week and conduct individual tutoring sessions as needed.

I expected only a handful of clients to attend the class but was surprised to find that I had nine students staring back at me at the top of the hour. I started the lesson by explaining that in my class we would only speak in English and all of the women responded by grumbling and wailing dramatically. I just laughed, telling them I believed this was the most effective way for them to learn.  I encouraged the students to write down any vocabulary they heard but didn’t recognize and promised that we would define the words at the end of the class. 

We started by practicing the past tense. I asked each student to stand and share what they did over the previous weekend. As they shared I wrote the corrections on the board and they all diligently took notes. We paused often for questions and I quickly learned that offering examples rather than explanations made my job much easier. 

For homework I assigned the students to complete a personal introduction that includes their name, age, where they’re from, family information, any previous studies or job experience, hobbies, interests and aspirations for the future. Next week the students will present their introductions and in time we will begin to expand them further into greater detail. 

By the end of the hour I was shocked to see that we had already run out of time. I never imagined that I would be teaching English but I was pleased with myself and surprised at how easy it was. I’m excited about the prospect of creating lesson plans every week and watching our clients grow in their English language abilities. Teaching also provides a great outlet for me to share some of the American culture, which will hopefully provide an opportunity for growth and understanding from both sides of the classroom. You can call me Professor Kent from now on.

Family Values

Filipinos never forget the responsibility they have to their family. Unlike many Americans, Filipinos view caring for their parents and siblings as their primary responsibility when they reach any level of financial independence. I spoke with my counterpart Arianne about some of the differences between the Filipino and American philosophies on family values. Despite Arianne's desire to marry her boyfriend and move out of the house. At the age of 26 she is already helping financially to take care of her mother, father and unmarried sisters. This dedication to the family unit and an acknowledgement of respect for elders is an area where the United States is definitely lacking. At the same time Arianne believes that the Filipino will always be rich in family values but because "they are always paying backwards instead of forwards" they will never be rich in disposable income. Which prompts the question, what values do we neglect in pursuit of the American dream?

Arianne and I

At the the same time in the Philippines, where these family values appear to be so strong, it's incredible how we can witness poverty break down those values into complete senselessness. Extreme poverty forces people to make choices that many of us in the privileged world would never have to contemplate and when your priorities are focused on others rather than yourself, some may end up making choices that lead to a path of great personal sacrifice and destruction. We see this when women use prostitution as a means to feed their families, or even to send their younger siblings to school. 

This conversation with Arianne left me feeling ashamed. As an American I know I  take these privileges  for granted on a daily basis, rarely asking myself, what can I do to help my family? Of course the need may not be financial but have I been a loving daughter and sister? Too often we are only focused on our own narrow path. Now that I am living so far away from home I can really appreciate the sacrifices my family has made for me and how supportive they have been in everything I do. It's true I come from a country of great power and privilege but because my family taught me to follow my heart; I can make the choice to live my life with compassion and humility.  

Thanks Mom and Dad 

Rat Tales

It was 9pm on a Monday. I had spent many hours doing important work and was ready to retire for the day but first I had to take my final trip to the CR (comfort room). The CR is near but the path is treacherous. First you must pass through the dreaded kitchen in which rats, lizards and cockroaches rule in the night. If you are courageous enough to bypass the kitchen you will come to a great wooden door that creaks of age and general creepiness. You must slowly open the door, never knowing what you might find waiting for you on the other side. If you are lucky enough to make it through physically unscathed, your mind still isn't safe. You can hear the rats scurrying all around you. Are they only in the walls? Or simply waiting in the shadows for their chance to feast on human flesh? I take these risks in honorable service to my country on a nightly basis, sometimes even twice nightly if I drink too much water. But this night was different.

I had reached the CR with great excitement but the bathroom door would not budge. Upon further examination I realized that the door was in fact locked! I shook the door in great frustration and was tempted to awake my hosts who had promised me 24 hr access. I listened…the only sounds I could recognize were inhuman. I was on my own. I took refuge back in my room, conflicted on what my next move should be. I weighed my options… I could wake my host mother and make her come downstairs to unlock the bathroom or I could make the trek to the most feared place to be at night in all of the Philippines the outdoor CR.

I will admit I have never experienced such great fear as I did in this moment but I knew what I had to do. I gathered my wits about me, shot some punches into the air to heighten my senses and I stepped out into the darkness. Leaving my door open would risk invasion, I turned and shut myself in. I took heavy steps through the kitchen my flip flops smacking on the tiled floors. I could see outlines of creatures running along the cabinets and catch glimpses of movement in every nook and cranny. I came to my first obstacle. Another heavy wooden door latched across at the top and a heavy lock at the bottom that fit into a hole on the floor. My fingers nervously fumbled with the locks… I could hear the creatures moving around me, scurrying all over. The first door was open and I was able to quickly unlock the screen door but stopped myself short of going outside. I pounded hard on the door, hoping to scare off anything within my immediate perimeter. I was vulnerable here from both directions. With a deep breath I flung the door open and made a run for it. First locking myself in the CR then scanning my surroundings to be sure that I was truly alone. This was the moment I had been waiting for, thanks be to god.

I left the CR with great speed and stealth. Ducking under clothes lines and hopping over a bucket. I could hear the rats rummaging around me. One misstep and it would all be over. I made it back inside and managed to seal off the exit once again locking myself into the confines of the kitchen. This was an extreme moment of defenselessness. The creatures were fast but I was faster. I made it  back into my room and sighed in relief when suddenly...

Although I did what I could to make this tale mildly entertaining I was legitimately scared at the time. The night following these debacles was equally creepy. Being that I am not living in a Bruce Willis movie what are the chances that all of the cupboards in the dining room are left open??? The worst part, I was in the room only minutes before and I did not notice anything out of the ordinary. Can this also be blamed on the rats? I feel like I am living in a horror movie.

Settling in Cebu

My new host family consists of my host mom, host grandmother and a two year old. They also have a full time nanny, a full time cook and yet another maid. I am a lot more independent here, my room even has a separate entrance to the house which has its advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes I am invited to have meals with the family and other times they will just deliver a tray to my room. Although my host mom speaks perfect English, I am really hoping that when I learn the language I can begin to build relationships with all the staff here, because I see them more than anyone else. 

Despite what this may sound like I am no longer spoiled in the realm of clothes washing unless I want to cough up 100 pesos every week. For all you PCV’s reading you're probably rolling your eyes but I only just recently experienced washing my clothes by hand here in Cebu. It’s an interesting process consisting of many different buckets. You’ve got your soapy water bucket, your rinse bucket, then your second rinse bucket. Then they have a spinner you put the clothes in for only a few minutes to get the excess water out then you simply hang your clothes in the sun to dry. Sounds easy enough but by the end of the process (two hours later) I was completely exhausted and dripping in sweat. I had put my old dirty soapy water into the bucket in the bathroom trying to conserve water and thinking it would get used to flush the toilet (we use this bucket to shower as well as to flush the toilet) but then no one went to the bathroom and I was awkwardly waiting around for someone to go to the bathroom and empty the bucket. Then I was trying to decide if I could acceptably use one of the laundry buckets for showering. By the end of the day I had successfully showered from a clean bucket and only one of my shirts fell off the clothes line into the mud.

I have already met up with some other Peace Corps Volunteers living in Cebu. We went to “the IT” for dinner, an area where there are tons of outsourcing companies. Many young Filipinos with money live there. I felt like I was walking around in California because it was so well developed, with lots of really new restaurants and huge office and apartment buildings. Although Cebu has pretty much anything an American could ever need including multiple Starbucks, living here on the Peace Corps allowance I will have to budget very wisely. I haven't been able to do this city justice as far as exploring goes but I will get some more photos up eventually. 

My first week at work was pretty laid back. I made some flashcards in Cebuano and the girls are already helping me learn the language. I was able to make my first courtesy call by visiting a napping barangay captain and introducing myself. I helped collect items for a garage sale for the center. I was able to attend a quarterly human trafficking meeting with all the stake holders in the community; unfortunately it was in Cebuano so there was little I could understand. I did however get to participate in the pre-meeting prayer, where we all stood up and sang along to a youtube video about Jesus, a staple here in the Philippines. I also attended a really interesting meeting with a representative from the Visayan Forum, the agency that is currently being sued by USAID. He came to establish a partnership with our agency and explained that the Visayan Forum plans to prove their innocence in court. More info here: http://philippines.usaid.gov/newsroom/us-sues-top-ngo-execs 

By Thursday I had my first experience with Filipino health care. After having a bad cough for the last three weeks and having a fever for two days I decided it was time to get checked out and boy did I miss the American healthcare system. Not sure how much of it actually had to do with the Filipino system or the Peace Corps credit system or the combination of the two but I was at the hospital from 10am-4pm waiting around for the doctor, then waiting to get my tests and prescriptions authorized by the medical office then I had to wait forever for my tests and to get my prescriptions filled. Thankfully my counterpart Arianne was there to help me through it all. The next few days were rough. The meds they prescribed me made me really sleepy and the first day on the meds I had a migraine that lasted for 6 hours. The next day I was feeling better but my body was still really aching so my host mom suggested one of the maids give me an oil massage for 50 p. After the massage they told me that I needed to get very sweaty and wait until the late afternoon to take a bath so I sat around covered in oil for hours feeling really sweaty and gross hoping they knew what they were talking about. By 4pm something miraculous happened... I was actually feeling hungry, my appetite had returned! There is a method to the madness.

This is the church I walk past everyday on my way to work.

Swearing In Ceremony and Arrival in Cebu City

Goodbye Aningway

Our last week in Aningway was bitter sweet. Although we are relieved to finish training and finally begin our 27 months of service it was hard to say goodbye to our host families who have shown us such great hospitality, love and friendship.  I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity to live in such an incredibly beautiful place and be completely accepted into the community with open arms.

I was asked to write a summary of Pre-Service Training that would make everyone laugh and cry. The result was six pages of memories which I shared aloud at our last technical session. Here I would like to share the descriptions I wrote about my cluster mates so you can have an idea of my support system over the last 10 weeks.

There is Donna who never ceases to amaze me with her dedication in walking 10,000 steps every a day. Despite her struggling with the language she remains positive and isn’t afraid to laugh at herself. And even though her host family is not ideal she manages to stick with it, spending time with the kids and lending a compassionate ear to her host mother. I know it’s hard for her to be away from her husband but I have so much respect for her and the many years of experience and wisdom she brings to the table.

Melissa who is arguably the most selfless person in the world; volunteers for everything, regardless of how monotonous or time consuming the assignment. I envy her drive, her focus and her attention to detail. Not to mention her ability to integrate into the community. Every time we have an event I see here holding somebody’s kid or getting her chika chika on with the locals.

Thank god for Candice who without her generosity our cluster would have suffered many snack less meriendas. Candice also has common sense that grounds us and keeps us on task. I don’t know where we would be without her because her work ethic and facilitation skills are incredible. Not to mention she’s also getting her MSW… I hope I can be like her when I grow up.

Oh Christina. What I love about her most is probably her laugh because it’s more genuine that anyone one person I have ever met. I am also very impressed by her resiliency and her ability to take control of her own situation. Peace Corps said jump, and Christina said how high? What I also love about Christina is she has no problem singing show tunes with me at the top of her lungs. This is a rare quality to find in a person.

Ben has got to be one of the happiest people I have ever met. I kept waiting for him to get pissed off about something but nothing provokes this guy. I really admire Ben for the professional experience he brings to the table and the positivity that he shares because we all benefit from it.

What I admire about Justin is that he is not afraid to laugh at himself but when it comes down to it he takes this job seriously and always delivers a quality product. This is why some day when we are all mopping floors or making coffee at Starbucks Justin will be working at the State Department.

Ashley and I didn’t really talk much until we lived across the street from each other. This is when I realized that she is not only an independent woman who is not afraid to voice her opinions but simultaneously she is one of the most accepting people I have ever met. We also share a deep love for eating, anything and everything that crosses our path.

Sam’s not only the master of Tagalog. He’s also got really impressive dance moves. And once I got to know him I found out he can quote any movie or show with incredible accuracy. He also does great impressions. Thank god I have someone who can understand my obscure movie references.

Tam’s greatest gift is her ability to level with you. I found great camaraderie with Tam because not only does she tell it like it is. She will also tell you the most logistically sound way to get it done and makes it look easy. I love her ability to take control of a situation and the end result is always beautiful.

I think Jeff is some kind of Puerto Rican Buddha. He is a really reflective and insightful person. Sometimes he is so positive and optimistic about everything he makes me feel inferior because I wish I could be like him. When I work up enough courage I think I might ask him to be my guru. 

Supervisor’s Conference and Street Immersion

The first day of Supervisor’s Conference was filled with great anticipation as we waited for our site placements to be announced. They announced the volunteers by region. We were all at the edge of our seats listening to which volunteers would go where trying to guess how far away we would be from our friends. Each name was carefully announced by the sector managers. Volunteers walked up to the stage where they took their picture and placed it onto a map of the Philippines, then they were handed a binder filled with information about their site placement. When my turn came my sector manager said, ‘Working in Cebu City doing prostitution outreach and sex trafficking prevention will be Amelia Kent.” I was so excited I almost jumped out of my chair. As I walked across the stage my mind flooded with images of what my service experience might be like. 

That night I met my supervisor a Nun named Sister Tonet. She is very kind, friendly and really inspiring. She brought me a beautiful folder with photos of the agency as well as my future host family. It was filled with information on Cebu as well as a letter from my counterpart a 25 year old Social Worker. Sister Tonet also spoiled me with pasalubong (gifts) from Cebu, a necklace (shown below), some cookies and dried mangos. I felt so incredibly lucky to have her as a supervisor and I really feel like I will be well taken care of. We spent the next few days attending trainings together and getting to know each other a little bit I am really looking forward to working with her.

On September 30th we drove to Manila for our CYF Street Immersion. We stayed at an amazing organization called Bahay Tulan where all of the staff are youth enrolled in a job training program that gives them the skills necessary navigate a highly competitive job market . The organization also trains youth leaders to do outreach with street children and does advocacy for children’s rights. 

For lunch we went to the mall and observed mall prostitution which is commonplace here. Although our sector manager gave them the option of how to respond, many of the male volunteers were approached by women and played along as though they were interested customers. Only afterward was the morality of this act questioned, but once the point was made I felt more or less ashamed for not taking this point into consideration beforehand. As usual our training was rushed and we didn’t have enough time to ask the important questions that should have been brought to the table before, during and after our exposures.

Afterward we went out for a two hour outreach session with street children. Our sector manager broke us into groups and sent us to different neighborhoods. He challenged us to use the training we had thus far to engage the children without having time for a planning session beforehand. We played games, sang songs and acted out some skits. It was completely improvised and the result was beautiful, the kids had a great time and asked when we would be back. 

We spent the next morning visiting Smokey Mountain, a garbage dump that people have been living on for three generations. The people live in extreme poverty, scavenging the trash for things they can sell and burning it to make charcoal, as result many of the people are very sick. The reality of the situation was unbelievable and the smell along with the flies made me feel sick. Some agencies had gotten involved. There was a health clinic providing prenatal care. A Christian organization built a basketball court and there was some basic infrastructure in place. All of the children seemed oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong with this picture, many of them walking around barefoot in a black muck that clung to our shoes. As I walked around with this huge group of Americans I thought about what our impact or lack of impact was on this community. I felt ashamed to have visited them in the same way people visit a zoo. I felt an overwhelming concern for the moral capacity of humanity.

Once again there was no time to process as we went directly back into the streets for our second day of outreach. I went into it feeling exhausted but was surprised by how much energy I got from working with the kids. I was so impressed  by their resiliency and dreams for a better future. I asked many of them what they want to be when they grow up and heard SEAMAN! ENGINEER! DOCTOR! PILOT! When it comes down to the things that matter… kids are all the same they all want to be loved and encouraged to follow their dreams.

After dinner we met up with some outreach workers and got an opportunity to go serve coffee to some people working on the street. We walked to a bridge that was a well known spot for prostitution and I was able to have a conversation in Tagalog with a female pimp. She told me that the girls make 400 pesos an hour and she complained that lately the police have been more of a problem for them; keeping customers away. She had a family to support as well as two siblings who lived close by. I didn’t catch how many girls she had working for her but I was surprised at how openly she shared her life with me. I also was surprised at myself. Instead of feeling anger or disgust at this woman’s chosen profession, I only felt sorry for her wishing that she had more options in life than to resort to this.

Next I was introduced to a woman who had been living on the street for many years in front of restaurant, and had recently obtained a job there. She had her first child when she was only 13 years old. Her first two children she put up for adoption, the next two were currently living in a shelter and her fifth child was nine year old Casey. Casey was a shy but friendly little girl who clung to her mother’s side. In the gleam of the street lights Casey and her mother were both doing homework. I asked Casey in Tagalog what she wanted to be when she grew up and she told me she wanted to be a nurse so that she could help people.

It felt really great for me to get this exposure because it gave me a real taste of the work I have ahead of me as well as the importance of language in facilitating a conversation. I was reminded of all the people I worked with on the streets of Seattle and I felt relieved to be reentering that world. There are few people who want to work with this population but everyone should.  Throughout the night I kept thinking about how growing up, there were always people in my life to remind me of what I deserved as a woman. How I deserved to be educated, treated well, treated fairly. I hope I can remind some of these women that they deserve the same. 

Permanent Placement: Human Trafficking Prevention Advocacy Volunteer in Cebu City

Good Sheperd Welcome House

Drop -In Center

Cebu City

Volunteer Role/Activities: Peer Education Program for women who are still active in sex trade,  basic facilitation skills in psycho-social activities, advocacy in schools and the community. 

Tomorrow I will meet my supervisor: Sister Tonet (a nun who has been working at this site since 2007). I am so happy with this placement and cannot wait to get started. I will move to Cebu City in September after I complete three more weeks of Pre-Service Training. 

PACA

August 7^th

I was almost evacuated due to monsoon rains that caused landslides and flash floods. They sent us home to pack a bag for evacuation but in the end only three volunteers were evacuated because of their proximity to the river. My house was fine but we lost power for over 24 hours so I busted out my head lamp. Meanwhile in Manila the city was in crisis. They had mass flooding, so bad that people were forced to climb up onto their roofs to escape the water. Many of our volunteers were evacuated from flooded areas and some lost many of their belongings because they didn’t have time to go back and get their things. We immediately got some donations together. I gave some clothes and an extra headlamp.

August 9^th

 I had my site placement interview with the CYF sector manager. They put two site options on the table. The first option I would be working in an urban city doing outreach with women working in prostitution. The second option I would be working at a Catholic orphanage for boys coaching their soccer team while simultaneously working with children in conflict with the law doing tutorials and group work.

August 10^th

We conducted a PACA (Participatory Analysis for Community Action) in our barangay. The PACA activities are designed to help community members to explore ways to analyze their own situation, participants from different groups will complete a 24 hour calendar, a monthly calendar and a community map. This helps us understand the best time for community organizing as well as how the community views itself. It also develops local capacity-building; the community identifies its own resources and strengths that it possesses so that it can draw upon them in order to reach its goal. Our barangay identified unemployment as its greatest concern and decided they would like to have a livelihood skills training on meat processing. A community member volunteered to facilitate the training so we will write a proposal to the mayor to help cover the costs of materials and food for lunch.

August 15th

A few days ago I had a really hard day. I was frustrated with the logistics of training and the quality of our projects. I could feel my attitude turning really negative. I took that afternoon to practice some self care and became determined to change my attitude. From now on, instead of allowing myself to get frustrated I decided that I will only allow myself to laugh at the challenges. As a result, the past few days have been wonderful. Yesterday I taught an old camp song at our technical training which everyone loved, so much that we are now singing it in parts. I invested in a new high tech umbrella that brings a smile to my face every time I pop that baby open and today I got to enjoy two chocolate covered espresso beans from Traders Joe’s via another trainee’s care package…what a saint.

Lately I feel more resilient when negative thoughts try to take over. I am more outgoing with the language and notice that I am making jokes all the time. I have made a conclusion that music drastically improves my mood, so now I listen to it every morning before I leave the house. Others have noticed the difference as well, during my weekly assessment my technical trainer said she noticed a big difference in my attitude telling me, “You’re blooming Amelia, as if you’re in love.” I want to be better still. I want to make people laugh and help them feel lighter. I hope to spend the next two years figuring out the best way to do that.

August 17th

For our language class we were required to cook a Filipino dish so my partner and I made Shanghai Isda shown below. Masarap. It only took our group 4 hours to cook everything!

August 18

Today we implemented our PACA community project. We attended the livelihood skills training on meat processing that we helped coordinate. There were many women who came to the barangay hall and learned valuable skills that they can hopefully transfer into income.

Later that night I was asked to accompany my technical trainer for an exposure to bar hopping. We went to the red light district and met up with some social workers, then spent the next three hours sitting in different strip clubs observing the girls. The social workers knew many of the girls from doing outreach but they explained to me that it takes a very long time to gain their trust. During the week they will conduct group sessions or meet with them individually. Many of the girls working in the bars have never completed formal education and they all looked really young.

At one point we watched some Korean guys come in. They were socializing with the girls when one of them jumped out of his chair and started screaming and jumping around. Finally we watched a huge cockroach fall out of his pants. KARMA! Almost all of the clientele I saw were white guys and they always seemed surprised and confused to see me in the bar. I would stare them down with an unforgiving look and watch them drop their heads in shame. If I end up working with this population it sounds like it will likely be in Cebu, which means I will have to learn yet another language. One more week and I will find out my permanent placement.